🪰 The Fly-Fi Revolution

 

Elon Musk had a problem.
Starlink was too... normal. Too corporate. Too “mainstream internet billionaire.”

He wanted something smaller. Lighter. Buzzier.

So he pitched the board:

“What if… we mounted miniature Wi-Fi satellites… on the backs of flies?”

Silence. Then laughter.
The kind of laughter that only happens when billionaires mock each other inside oak-paneled boardrooms.

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🍟 Enter: The Sad Potato Man

Elon stormed out, furious.
That’s when he met Hank — an old man selling fries from a cart near the gates of “The Introvert Billionaires Club.”

Hank looked up with greasy hands and onion-ring eyes and said:

“Son, I believe in your flies. I’ll help you. I got trash. A lot of it.”

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🗑️ Operation Fly-Fi Begins

By the next morning, tons of garbage were delivered to Elon’s Bel Air mansion.
Rotten fish, expired pudding, vape pens, old Twitter blue checkmarks—everything flies love.

Soon, Elon had the largest private fly swarm in North America.
He named them:
Buzznet.

But there was a problem:

“They’re using too much bandwidth,” Elon tweeted.
“They watch TikToks 24/7. They're addicted to memes. This is a very online fly army.”

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😷 Neighbors Revolt

The mansion reeked.
Buzzing filled the skies.
A woman in yoga pants fainted on her Peloton from the stench. HOA meetings turned into exorcisms.

But Elon? He stood proud, arms outstretched like a Messiah of Micro Insects.

“They mocked me when I bought Twitter. They mocked me again. But Buzznet is real. The internet will fly.”

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🧠 Moral?

Never underestimate a man with a dream, a dumpster, and thousands of data-hungry insects.