🦸♂️ Superman’s Dirty Cape
The truth behind the tights.
🧳 The Hook – After the Credits
The movie ended. The credits rolled.
Superman walked off the soundstage and stood quietly on the sidewalk—waiting for a cab.
No flying. No theme music. No cheering fans.
Just a wrinkled suit and a man with aching knees.
“Even heroes need Uber,” he whispered.
His iconic red underwear?
“Needs a serious wash.”
🪞 Mirror Talk
Back in his apartment, Superman removed his cape, kicked off his boots, and stared into the mirror.
“We lie,” he said to his reflection.
“We’re not heroes. We're marketing tools in spandex. There's no truth. No justice. Just tight schedules and tighter pants.”
Then his phone rang.
☎️ A Call from Trump
“White House here. The president loved your movie. He wants to meet. Tonight.”
Superman arrived at the Oval Office in a gray business suit.
No cape. No S-logo. Just a man in borrowed confidence.
Trump frowned.
“Where’s the underwear?” he asked.
“Where’s the chest puff? You look like you sell insurance for sad dads.”
🍽️ The Test
Trump snapped his fingers.
“Prove it! Fly around the ceiling fan!”
“Lift that buffet table with one pinky!”
“Balance my fries while riding a unicycle!”
Everyone stared.
Superman didn’t move.
🎭 The Confession
“I can’t,” he said finally.
“There’s no power. I never had it. I’m just a guy in tights. Just like you—pretending to be something I’m not.”
A hush fell over the room. Even the Big Macs went silent.
🤝 The Dumb Alliance
Trump paused.
Then smiled.
“You’re just like me! No powers. No clue. Just... vibes.”
“Wanna come over and watch Home Alone 2? I’ve got Diet Coke and a spare room in the guest bunker.”
🍕 Moral of the Madness
Even fake heroes need fake friends. Especially if both of them wear ridiculous outfits.
