🤖 The Burrito Bite Scandal: A Robot, a Jealous Wife, and a Meltdown on the White House Steps
It was supposed to be a normal lunch.
President Donald J. Trump was mid-speech during a White House taco-themed press conference when he noticed something bizarre:
His burrito had a bite in it.
But not his bite.
“That’s not me,” Trump insisted, holding the half-eaten burrito up like it was a national security threat.
“I have very distinctive teeth. Ask anyone.”
🧠 Enter Elon Musk
Within hours, Elon Musk tweeted the obvious solution:
“To reduce chewing fatigue and promote presidential efficiency, I’ve developed a prototype robot that bites food for Trump. It’s called ChompX-1.”
Suddenly, a small chrome robot with perfect veneers appeared at Trump’s side in every press event, birthday party, and ice cream launch.
It bit things.
Silently.
Efficiently.
Perfectly.
💔 Trouble in the Trump Tower
Melania wasn’t amused.
She found ChompX-1 "creepy," "too smooth," and “far too close to Donald’s mouth.”
And when Trump asked ChompX to cut his steak on their anniversary dinner, things got ugly.
Two days later, ChompX-1 was found in pieces behind the White House greenhouse.
Melted circuits. Detached jaw. One metallic tooth still clutching a jalapeño slice.
The Secret Service launched an investigation.
Trump pointed fingers.
Melania pointed… nowhere.
Elon Musk? He was livid.
“I pour my genius into a culinary AI and this is how I’m treated? I’m out.”
— Elon, tweeting at 3:37 AM
🍦 The Final Scene
With Elon gone, Melania in hiding, and ChompX in a bucket, Trump was left alone.
He sat on the White House steps in a wrinkled suit, holding a half-melted ice cream cone, staring at the West Lawn.
No robot.
No wife.
No burrito.
Just quiet. And regret. And a scoop of mint chocolate chip slowly sliding down his hand.
🧠 Moral of the Story?
Never outsource your chewing. Especially if your wife hates robots.
